Chapter 1 The Persona
Well physically I am 6’4" tall, about 247 pounds, with an active lifestyle . Which compliments my high stamina and redemptive ego that I consciously keep in check and for the record I have always dreaded this “describe yourself” section of any bio.
As a fairly intellectual yet uncontrollably analytical dreamer/imaginative type I spent the first 23 years of my life as a pessimistically anxious 6’4" 255 pound solid gym rat that was so irrationally insecure I truly believe it would have been diagnosed as a mental illness. I would get lost in a mental schematic of deciphering and separating who my ego thought OTHER PEOPLE would want me to be projected as publicly. Compared to what I actually thought of myself which was drowned by a lifetime of insecurity, self doubt, and a dysfunctional tendency to avoid any sort of opposition that may show how emotionally weak I was. Those two were compared to who I internally determined I should be like if I was a rationally experienced, confident, and capable male possessing my masculine physical attributes, my cognitive perceptibility with a discerning level of introspection led to my realization of the paradox.
Like flint stroking a magnesium rod showering a tinder bundle with bright hot sparks of mere possibility. The Paradoxical Effect opened my mind to a new realm of thinking and with it came an ability to perceive in a Multi-perspective manner. It seems that by maintaining the proofs of authenticity, as the sum of logically reasonable deduction, combined with my deep sense of imagination they all complimented each other and made me a very capable and adept problem solver. Now being able to envision the different possibilities in operational detail and then discern through them to the most logical, rational, and plausible theorem. So because I had such an introspective personality I did my own thesis on myself where I realized that in order to be that confident capable man I wanted to be I simply had to BE. So after plunging myself into an oversized handful of trials with a double shot of errors, I emerged on the other side a little scarred up, experienced and aware of who I had become through my journey. So as I fingerbang authenticity into this profile I am aware that most of the people that read it will think I’m weird for divulging that much truth. But every once in awhile someone will read it and appreciate it for what I have done and that is set the tone not as fallacious baiting to lure in a catch rather an authentic glance into the window of who I actually am… The sum of who I came to be.
most importantly the why ever growing along side my physicality. Either way
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