“vodka orange juice” – Single (2021) - flowerkid

“vodka orange juice” is one of my most vulnerable and confronting releases - a stripped-back single that deals directly with gender dysphoria, trans identity, and the emotional weight of growing up in a world that can be unkind to those who don’t fit its expectations.

Written from deeply personal experience, the song recounts real comments made to me at parties over the years, moments that pierced through my sense of self during some of my darkest internal battles. With lines like “the girls want a real boy, and you’re not that” and the confession “boy, I’ve tried to commit suicide multiple times,” the track opens an unfiltered window into the realities of trans mental health and the loneliness of dysphoria.

Musically, the production stays light, moody, and understated - acting as a fragile frame around a raw one-take vocal performance in which my voice audibly breaks during the final chorus. That unedited moment became the emotional anchor of the song, holding space for the heaviness without hiding behind polish.

Despite its weight, “vodka orange juice” has become a point of connection for listeners who see their own experiences reflected back - a quiet reminder that they aren’t alone, and that survival and honesty can coexist.

Project Highlights:

• One of my most emotionally raw releases, addressing gender dysphoria and trans mental health

• One-take vocal performance, capturing real emotion and a breaking voice in the final chorus

• Contrasting light, moody production that frames the heaviness without overshadowing it

• Deeply personal storytelling, recounting real experiences and harmful comments from others

• A comfort piece for listeners, offering visibility and reassurance to those facing similar struggles

• Helped set the emotional tone for my debut EP “everyone has a breaking point”

What This Project Represents:

“vodka orange juice” represents my willingness to tell the truth, even when it’s painful. It captures the essence of what the flowerkid project stands for - radical vulnerability, emotional honesty, and creating art that helps others feel seen in their darkest moments. This song marks an important point in my growth as an artist and as a person, transforming lived experience into something that can hold someone else together.